Aprons and Chocolate Chip Scones

Aprons are Awesome

You know since this is my online journal, I’ll just spit it out.

Aprons.

I love them.

I mean, I know that they are seen as a misogynistic symbol of women’s bondage to the home from the 1950’s, but DANG.

They are useful.

Okay, a little about me. I am as low matience as they come. Well, I shower and generally try to take care of myself, but I don’t wear make-up every day and I don’t do my hair every day.

Except my hair is a pixie cut right now, so not like anyone could tell.

Anyways, I only like to get dressed ONCE. And I don’t like changing my clothes thirty times a day. If I change into my PJ’s, thats it. I’m home for the day.

Here’s where the aprons come in. I would get dressed in the morning, but I have a notoriously bad habit of wiping my hands on my jeans or whatever is close. By the time we decide to leave the house, I look like I have lost a fight with a Kitchen-Aid.

Snot, flour, other unmentionable crud is strewn all over my person.

And because I like to get out of the door as quickly as possible, and apron was the perfect solution.

A little history on the Apron:
did you know that originally Aprons were used because it was easier to wash an apron (like hand wash in a tub of water) than to wash a dress all of the time. Dress could (and often were) worn several times before they had to be washed because it was such a pain in the rear to wash them.

Hence Aprons.

So I’ve become a convert. I wear an apron all morning while I am making breakfast, doing dishes and various other chores around the house. When I am done with the messy stuff, I can take it off and VOLIA, I am relatively presentable.

This way I don’t have to change my clothes anymore than I have to. It still chafs my tender soul to change for a work out, but I really hate stinky smelly clothes and I don’t have enough PJs to wear them for workout clothes as well. Sigh.

Anyways, It is raining here so here is an Awesome Chocolate Chip Scone recipe I found from the website Sally’s Baking Addiction. She gives a ton of tips for baking scones and they turned out AMMAAAZZZZING. I just ate one and I want another.

I think rain calls for sitting by my wood stove and reading books until I am comatose. Think my kids will go for that?

Tuna Melt

After I was done in college I was able (and luckily enough) to take a trip in Europe. I went to Vienna, Salzburg, Prague and Munich. It was AAAAAAHHH-MAZING.

One of the first place we went after we landed in Salzburg was a little chain deli. I remember the experience vividly because I was freaked out by being in a country were I didn’t speak a word of the language and we were trying to order some lunch.

Whatever I ordered they were out of, luckily my friend was able to understand enough German to get that. I was completely clueless.

So I quickly picked something else that would work, a Tuna sandwich, even though Tuna wasn’t my favorite. I was able to get the message across and the language crisis was over. Whew.

I used to panic a lot when I was first figuring out the world in my twenties. Especially when I traveled. Living in the UK for a year was enough to give me panic attacks for MONTHS before I moved there.

Anyway, back to the story.

To my surprise, I really liked the Tuna Melt. I wasn’t used to tuna sandwiches hot with melted cheese on top. The only problem was it was slightly cold in the middle, but there is no way with my insufficient German to be able to make any kind of complaint.

Since then I do like a good tuna melt every once in a while. Maybe just to fix it the right way.

Here is my favorite way to make them:

Tuna Melts
1 biggish serving

2 slices of whole wheat bread (thick sliced if possible)
1 tomato, thinly sliced
1 can of white tuna
1/2 tablespoon of mayo
1 tsp dill pickle relish
1/2 tsp lemon juice
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 cup cheddar cheese
butter

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

Butter the bread and place it butter side down on a baking sheet. Place the thinly sliced tomato on the bread in a single layer. Set aside.

Mix tuna, mayo, relish, lemon juice and salt in a small bowl. Adjust the mayo to get it the consistency you like. Some people like it drier and other like it more moist, so keep an eye on that.

Spread the tuna mixture on the bread. Then sprinkle the sandwiches with the cheese. Once again, use as much as you prefer. I like a generous amount so I use all the cheese and then some. 🙂

Let bake in the oven for about 5 minutes or until the cheese is melted and the bread looks toasty. Keep an eye on it, so it doesn’t burn.

If you prefer sweet relish, feel free to substitute. I personally think sweet pickle relish taste like poo, but that is just a preference.

This is one of my favorite lunches to make when I don’t have any leftovers to eat. It is filling, cheap and easy. Yummy!

 

Also every time I make it, I have fond memories of travelling in Europe with some good friends. That is worth remembering.

Depressed Mormon

The last two weeks we’ve been in San Diego, then General Conference, then we all got sick. I’m still waiting for things to get back to normal and I seriously need to be working in my yard!!!!

Bah.

But we had a blast in San Diego. We went to the Zoo, to Disneyland, to Legoland and the San Diego Temple.

I wanted to talk about something that has been weighing on my mind for awhile. I’ve mentioned that I am a Member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also I wrote about being depressed during pregnancy.

I am a Depressed Mormon.

Yes that is possible. A lot of people in our faith who struggle with mental illness eventually leave because our faith is all about joy and happiness and feeling uplifted.

It is next to impossible to feel uplifted when you are depressed.

Recently my kids have been obsessed with the movie Inside Out. I LOVE that movie. Love, love, love, love.

What Riley felt when Joy and Sadness were lost, is kind of what it feels like to be depressed. Only Sadness is ever present. It is as if it is just Joy is gone. Permanently.

That is what depression is: the lack of Joy.

I love this post from the blog Hyperbole and a Half. She does an awesome post about her struggles with depression.

I have had people tell me that I just need to buck up, move on, and get over it (luckily never from anyone seriously close to me) but it isn’t something you just ‘get over’.

From personal experience:

Depression is a disease.

I have been depressed and I have successfully overcome it. There was a HUGE difference.

Depressed me:

exhausted all the time, couldn’t deal with social interaction (like calling someone on the phone), especially strangers but not excluding close friends, never smiled, never cracked jokes, couldn’t do more than one thing a day, obligations quickly overwhelmed me, multi-tasking was impossible, everything my kids did irritated me, only desire to get by with the bare minimum, and the list goes on.

Not Depressed me:

more energy, ability to talk to strangers, can complete a huge to-do list in a day, no problems calling people, fulfill obligations with ease, multi-task like a boss, smile more, joke more, play with my kids more, more desire to LIVE my life to the fullest.

The difference is stark. Most of my friends and family could tell a difference immediately.

It was my husband (my poor overworked, over burdened husband) who recommended a therapist. And I agreed, without hesitation.

I saw a Psychologist, who recommended medication and therapy, both of which I did. And I got better.

This talk by Elder Holland is amazing.

Even if you aren’t Mormon, this talk is incredibly uplifting, especially if you struggle with Depression or if you know someone who is.

Last Fall, while I was struggling through recovering from depression, I realized that Christ had felt what I had felt. He KNEW what I was going through. Suddenly, through study and pray, I developed faith. Faith that I wouldn’t be like this forever. I knew that eventually I would be better. Maybe not in this life, but in the next.

Please note:

I struggle to feel the presence of the Lord in my life when I am depressed.

To the point that I felt abandoned by God. But He was there, I just had so much chemical imbalances in my head, I couldn’t feel or see His influence in my life. Later, when I felt better I could see how much He was supporting me, but I couldn’t see it when I was depressed.

But even though I couldn’t feel the presence of the Lord, I didn’t stop practicing my religion. I couldn’t. I didn’t stop going to church, I didn’t stop saying my prayers or reading my scriptures. I knew, I KNEW that if I abandoned my religion I wouldn’t be able to recover. With help from family, friends, my church, doctors and therapists, I was able to get better.

I am one of the lucky ones. I was able to deal with it, to the point that I don’t need therapy and my doctor is talking about weening me off of my drugs.

But some have to be in therapy and continue drugs for the rest of their lives. That is just a treatment of a permanent illnesses, like diabetes or high blood pressure.

You are NOT your depression. Depression is a disease that can be treated and overcome much like an ear infection or a cold. As soon as I distanced myself from my disease, I was able to treat it what it really is, rather than letting it define me.

Am I completely healed? No. I still have my days. I’ve been struggling with anxiety lately again to the point that I might need to call my therapist again. And I think I will, because I can’t do this alone. I can’t. But with medical treatment, I can be me again.

And I truly love not-depressed me.