We are all exhausted today.
We spent Saturday going all over town looking at new appliances. Then we spent the rest of the time at home hashing out all of our options.
Our conversations went something like this: “Well, we can get that fridge cheaper at Sears” “But Lowes had a better protection plan, and according to all those Amazon review, we are GOING to need a protection plan…” “But its cheaper at Sears. Or Best Buy” “Yea, but their protection plans are either $500 or they suck.”
I hate over thinking things. Every time I thought a decision had been made, hubby brought up a new alternative to consider (This is just how he works…Normally I appreciate this because he usually has all the information in front of him, but this time I just wanted to buy the *&#@ fridge). By the time we actually bought the appliances yesterday I was ready to tear my hair out. It didn’t help that on Sunday night we discovered that our garbage disposal was leaking and we now had to find a new one.
Another decision we have to make?? NOOOOO!!!!
The blessing was that we had enough left over from our tax return to pay for everything. Thank you!
But I’m really cranky and tired today.
I think there is another reason for that:
P. M. S.
I hate this time of the month. Usually I am very level headed, able to handle most things, but this time of the month I turn into a really mean, anxious, b*#^%. And the profanity isn’t going too far.
My sweet husband finally caved a few months ago. He finally said, “Honey, I can’t handle your PMS anymore”, but in a more tactful, kind way.
I’ll be honest. At first I was hurt. I had been working hard to do better and I thought I had been better. But Hubby felt strongly enough to say something.
So instead of getting mad or yelling at him, I just thought over what he had said. And I realized something. My hubby isn’t one of those overbearing, insensitive men that you see on TV or in the media.
He is a kind, gentle, sensitive person and he can put up with a LOT of crap from me with out complaining. That he actually said something made me realize that it wasn’t a snap decision on his part or a complaint. It was simply an observation that I wasn’t myself (AT ALL) during that specific time of month and that he had been giving it a LOT of thought for a LONG time.
The thing that struck me the most was that he was mostly worried about my well being. And the kids. When I am PMSing I kind of hate myself and I lash out and blame everyone around me. I sink into a hole and bite any hand that tries to help me. And it takes me an extra week or so to pull myself out of this funk. Okay, two weeks a MONTH that I am non-functional? Even when I am trying to fight it? NOPE.
I ended up talking to my OBGYN and getting a very mild anti-depressant. I only take it the week of the madness and I have notice that it helps. I only take a minimal dose, so I still get grouchy, but I can reason though it instead of succumbing to wallowing in self-loathing and anger.
My hubby loves me and he just wants me to be happy. Because I am at home with the kids all day and everyone needs my attention almost all the time it is hard to remember that my Hubby sometimes suggests things to make my life easier, not harder. And usually he is right. 🙂